Hermanus & South Africa madness - Percy Tours Update 10.

PERCY TOURS in South Africa.

Hello all.

It’s been ages since I last wrote and theres a very good reason for that - the tourists (and the film crews, whales, elephants, lions and great white sharks) are here in big numbers - so yeeehaaa!!!

Percy Tours has been working SO hard that I have forgotten when I last ate or slept, let alone know what day it is. :-)))

NATURE FILM CREW - with a Shark with NO tail -
Firstly we had a fabulous Nature Film crew here for 14 days - they were a great bunch of lads and we had loads of laughs. Here to film the Great White Sharks and with an incredible 20 metre sea-water visibility, plus using the new Shark Lady see-thro cage, they got some unbelievable footage. Including a massive shark that had only a half eaten back tail fin and very bitten dorsal fin. God knows how it has survived to grow to 5 and half metres long, but it has – so if you see a National Geographic or BBC program with a monster great white shark looking unable to swim, then you know it was filmed in these waters and is very capable of looking after itself.

We will be linking to this Film Crews website when its up and running but watch out for any amazing underwater films by SHARK BAIT TV PRODUCTIONS, cos these guys are destined to make a big splash very soon – pun definitely intend :-)))

Helicopters were a-buzzing over head today due to the arrival of the King of Jordan – who decided that a shark dive was on the cards. So the list of VIP shark swimming nutters continues to grow day-by-day.

ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY -
And Percy Tours doesn’t just stop there when it comes to mingling with the VIPs of this planet, as we had one of the Directors of the Royal Shakespeare Company in one of our minibuses for a 3 day zip around the lovely sights of the Western Cape. And what a fabulous woman she was too. We laughed & nattered about everything and certainly sorted the world out many times. Our musical and art discussions were highly enlightening.

JAWS - the Movie -
Richard E Grant & Ruby Wax’s recent visit here was to film the 30th anniversary of the Jaws Movie, so please check your TV screens cos it was ALL filmed here and will be broadcast worldwide on SEPT 4th on ITV1 at 9pm.

And by heck get your hands on a copy of this months Africa Geographic magazine cos its got a 12 page article on sharks at Gansbaai – THE best place on the planet to see great whites – 1000 individuals have now been identified here over 5 years.
Check out our photos web pages for a look at a madman in a 3.5 metre kayak being stalked by a 4.5 metre great white – incredible what these scientists will do these days. - http://www.flickr.com/photos/51084760@N00/search/tags:percytours/

PERCY IS PREGNANT -

Well of course I’m not BUT my little minibus definitely IS pregnant – as she’s expecting another jazz blue minibus with Percy Tours insignia in the next few weeks - we are growing into a little family of luxury minibuses – so all together now - RRRRRRR bless her :-))))))) We are not too sure if it’s a girl or a boy minibus but its full of the joys of spring and highly energetic !!! With even more luxury accessories on board.

Saying that Mummy minibus didn’t feel too well last week and decided that she would give up the ghost - and after 3 days at the doctors we finally found out that she needed to have afew electrical wires moved about - kept cutting out at 100kph on the highway - which was well worrying at night - but she had a damn good doctor and is now fighting fit - yyyeeeeee!!!!

LONDON BOMBINGS -
Dunkirk spirit everyone !!!

It has to be said that my heart goes out to all Londoners (and to EVERY civilised person on the entire planet) that 07/07/2005 was a shockingly terrible day.

There really is NO excuse for such outrageous behaviour - EVER.

Use the tongue and brains god gave you and don’t ever fall to the lowest common denominator.

Freedom of speech YES. Freedom to kill innocent people NO.

Maybe Mr. George Bush needs a jolly good talking to as well.
Uuumm !!! Controversial………but true folks.

I could easily go on forever but know that 99.99999% of us all agree it was a revolting and horrific act.

And anyway, Percy Tours is here to reinforce that we should all be living a hedonist lifestyle of immense fun, sun, frolicking, holidaying and enjoying life to the very fullest – cos life is a full-on adventure playground and to be utterly savoured!!!

So horrendous stories aside lets concentrate on happy times and realise that life is well worth living to the utmost fullest.

So damn well get on with it !!!

GLASTONBURY -
Well I watched the net (clicking like a demented loony) for as much Glastonbury action as my little computer could muster. And Ooohhh how I felt for those poor sods who had to endue metres of water wash them down the hillsides of a farm in south-west England.

My mate Geoff and I have experienced 9 Glastonbury’s in a row and were rained upon for 2 Glastonbury’s in a row – and in those 2 years it never stopped raining for the whole 3 days that we were there. So you think you had it bad kids??

“Youngsters today, they don’t know they were born” – said the senile, grey haired old git in South Africa – severely worried he sounds just like many generations before him - hahaha!!!! Bring on the wheelchairs someone :-)))

Hope you all had a corker - if you were there - or watching it from the comfort of your armchair (with all mod-cons, like hot water and a flushing loo).

GET ON WITH IT - YOU FOOL!!! -
“So come on - what’s been happening down the other end of the planet Percy ??” - I hear you all shout.

Firstly the weather has been non-stop sun for the last 5 weeks – been hitting the 25 degree mark and of course we have been enjoying it - just like the summer in the northern hemisphere. (but obviously involving a lot less rain)

Secondly the Whales have arrived in large numbers to play, jump about and have some very large sex action off the coast of our lovely seaside town. You should see how frothy the sea is!! Hahahahah!! With 60 of these marvelous creatures being spotted in one day last week.

Thirdly I have finished my house extension – “What??” You all shout. “That’s quick.” And yes it is quick but with me being here, watching them nearly every second, they soon got the message that they were not here for some daft teddy bears picnic in the sun. So I (or should that be WE) now have a palace in paradise, which we can all enjoy, totally abuse, party in and chillout. Big new kitchen, 2nd bathroom and a huge 6 metre by 6 metre lounge/guest bedroom. Book your air tickets NOW folks!!!

I even fancy being a flash old git and installing a huge plasma screen TV and monstrous surround system – so I dare you, to dare me and it all might come true :-)))

MUSICAL BLISS -

Well WHAT a bumper month of excellent music – new albums by - Oasis (good) / Gorillaz (fab and a grower the more you listen to it) / Coldplay (another fab grower) / Limp Bizkit (mad rap-core at its finest) / Deep Dish (another grower) / Bloc Party (average) / The White Stripes (incredible as usual) / Thievey Corporation (fabulous chillout/house) / Supergrass (great pop/rock); with the latest Global Underground offerings by Sasha and Danny Howells being SO great – check out Playgroup’s excellent cover version of Depeche Modes “Behind the Wheel”)

AND this months shining star has got to be - Royksopp (always great) – with Track 8 “Circuit Breaker” AND Track 9 “Alpha Male” - BOTH having to be singles of such monstrous potentials that they have got to hit EVERY top 10 singles chart around the planet soon – watch them become classics of our times ladies and gentlemen - as they are both bound to get some outrageous remixes – amazing and I absolutely love them – play them VERY LOUD - NOW :-)) and that’s an order from DJ Pounding Percy.

For the mad & crazy Drum’n’Bass crew – get your hands on Fabriclive 18 - Andy C & DJ Hype - it will literally blow your head off your shoulders!! Incredible listening at 300,000 mph. “BBOO YYAAKKKAA and TING!!” Flipping BRILLIANT!!

While I have also been stocking up on some old classics by The Ramones (1,2,3,4 everyone), AC/DC and other throw back bands from the 1970’s and early 80’s (which makes me feel like I either LOVE and know alot of good music when I hear it, or I am an ageing rocker, who should curl-up rather rapidly. I think the former applies :-))

Ooohhh and I can totally recommend you get your hands on a fabulous chillout album – check out - Felix Laband “Dark Days Exit” – a brilliant South African export – (some dark and moody tunes, some serious smoking music and some down-right weird, with toilet flushing sounds) – but all very great and worth obtaining – so search it out. Been obtaining some amazing reviews across the planet too.

FIRST OFFICIAL BOOKINGS FOR PERCY TOURS -
Champagne in hand everyone – Percy Tours has not 1, not 2 but 3 individualised tours now booked with 3 groups from the UK, thro our website - www.percytours.com.
10 days each tour – one in Sept, one in Oct and one for March 2006.

Plus we really are giving the 5 star treatment to our customers these days, as we are obtaining a very large amount of business from the 5 star Marine Hotel in Hermanus, which has been the resting place for such rich humans like Brad Pitt.

WEBSITE FRANTIC ACTION (and Marketing) -
And our website has been having some amazing hits recently too – 13500 hits in July and 11500 in August.

Plus on the 1st October go down to your local newsagent and get your hands on a copy of the brand new Time Out Cape Town 2006 magazine, cos we have a big advert in there – as well as being the only Tour Operator in the Western Cape advertising in it too – check out our new Special Offers new web page for great activities at crazy silly prices (or even FREE – yeah free)

While we also now have up 7 new Tour Packages that cover many great things to immerse yourself into while you are here. http://www.percytours.com/tours.html

And if you go to our Security and Safety page you will see that we have enlisted Netcare 911 for instant medical air evacuation assistance (god forbid we ever need it)
http://www.percytours.com/security.html

Next month we will be joining forces with EBOOKERS, so that all your clients flights and travel insurance requirements are well and truly catered for.

And if anyone can get their hands on any email databases, then we would be very grateful, as we are about to hit our database with a lush and sexy newsletter.

Even more pictures on our Flickr website too - http://www.flickr.com/photos/51084760@N00/search/tags:percytours/

AND JUST TO CROWN A GREAT FEW MONTHS -
We have just been on an incredible Safari.

This park is a massive, covering a whopping 540 square kms (54,000 hectures) of animals jumping about.

Elephants with little babies that are oohh so cute that they still don’t know what the heck their trunks are for and keep stepping on them; loads of antelope like zebra, springbok, kudu and giraffe; hippos; rhino; lions; cheetahs; tons of huge eagles and water birds, and accommodation of 5 star splendour, with spas and pampering, infinity swimming pools and food to make you just want to live there forever.

More nuttiness from this end of the planet soon.

Loads of love to all.

“South Africa explorer” Percy

www.percytours.com

Designer Tours of Hermanus, Cape Town and the Western Cape region.

Hermanus and a slightly cooling South Africa. Percy Tours Update 9.

Mid April to 3rd June 2005.

Hello everyone around the world,

Hope you are all very well and mighty fine.

It’s that time again for some more silly antics and daft stories from Percy Tours down at the bottom of Africa, which now has afew chilly and windy days mixed with some warmer sunny intervals in the Western Cape.

Durban Tourism Conference Indaba.

Well Percy Tours thought it was about time that we went on our 1st business trip, so off we jet to Durban and a massive Tourism trade show. This enormous Expo showcasing all of Southern Africa’s major tourist attractions, from Safari lodges and game parks to wines, helicopter trips, adventure sports, many amazing accommodation establishments and all points in-between.

It took us afew days to explore the whole show, while collecting a monstrous bundle of information brochures that will take us weeks to read thro. There were many parties where the free food and booze just didn’t stop being offered and being a complete gentleman, it would have been very rude to have declined their kind invitations, wouldn’t it? While venturing out to afew of the city’s night clubs too – all in the name of research and networking you understand :-)) Needless to say we met many interesting and important future contacts.

Even tho' we are only an hours flight from Cape Town, the weather and scenery are vastly different - sunny, warm and humid, with enormous fields of banana plants and sugarcane. On one day we decide to drive down the coast and admire the views; then cut inland to venture thro the amazingly pretty Valley of 1000 Hills, with small homesteads scattered across this most picturesque landscape.

In Durban there is a marked difference in cultural mix compared to Cape Town, as in the 1800 & 1900s many Indian workers were employed in the sugarcane fields. Their descendants are now the majority of the population in this part of the world, so some damn fine curries are to be had here and I have to say that curries are about the only thing I really miss from London. Spicy poppodums being the top of the list. Yummy!!!!

Tours.

Even tho' the tourists are a slightly rare sight nowadays, we have been kept busy with day trips to Safari parks, wine tours, Cape Town excursions and another corporate team building day, which involved us zooming around the staff of a South African medical company for 6 hours, on a Treasure Hunt of Hermanus. Wickedly funny, especially the blindfold food tasting and them having to decorate a cake, then go and sell it for as much money as possible to some unsuspecting punter down Hermanus main road. With that money then having to be used to buy as many items as possible in a super market which we then took down to the Township kiddies charity shop. The quad biking session on a wine farm was just as entertaining with everyone burning rubber and throwing up dirt into competitors faces.

Safari Drive.

I totally love Safari drives and relish the times I am able to do them. The game park we visit have some new arrivals – with many baby giraffe, zebra, springbok, buffalo and wildebeest hopping about. They have also just introduced a new species of antelope to the park, called Lechwe which are already breeding very successfully and originate from Botswana’s Okavango Delta region.

They are also eagerly awaiting the births of some cute cheetah and the slightly larger arrival of a baby rhino. These will be fabulous to see, as we all love baby animals and instantly go AAAAA!!! The baby cheetahs will have to be hand reared at the lodge, as they would be killed by the male adults if they were left inside their enclosure. So I am really looking forward to seeing them being bottle feed and hopefully being allowed to stroke these little cuties. Many photos to be will be taken at that event, you can bet.

Percy Tours recent developments.

Life never stops here as we have just had delivery of our 1st batch of Percy Tours official merchandising – some very wacky and eye-catching t-shirts.
Our merchandising range will expand over the next few months as we have some great ideas to put into practice. The minibus will have its sides splattered with corporate insignias next week and we have been busy with updating a very useful website for a pictorial montage of Percy Tours. Enjoy!!!

So please feel free to click the following link for a good look –

Flickr.com with 38 new pictures, spread across 4 pages - http://www.flickr.com/photos/51084760@N00/search/tags:percytours/

The "View as slideshow" button on the top right of the page, is an excellent way to see them all in their utmost glory.

One major item that will be ready in a week’s time is a fun, informative and hard-hitting Percy Tours promotional DVD, which has been put together by one of Cape Towns most respected Production Editors. Pumping music sound track, fast flowing and covering many different activities, which will also be available for download too.

Computer misery - Trojan Horses.

We all think our computers are safe – especially us at Percy Tours who weekly update Nortons, Windows Updates, Microsoft anti-spy, Spybot and many other protection programs, but 3 weeks ago I got hit by a Trojan–bloody–Horse, that turned into 3 – arse is all I can say. It’s all been fixed now but it seriously slowed down my computers running speed for afew days.

Sucking on a plastic manikin anyone??

As part of becoming a registered tour company and official tourist drivers, we have to perform mouth to mouth with a plastic torso. Uumm not my idea of fun as 1st aid courses and blood are not my most joyous of activities, but we made it thro the 2 day course and came out with shining colours for being able to practice life-giving kisses.

Lets Rock!!

It’s fairly rare to have big international rock stars grace this part of the world, so when Avril Lavigne decides to rock-up I jump at the change to practice my air-guitar moves. With me is a South African friend who has a small entourage of 5 highly excitable 13 year old girls; so we all bundle into my minibus and zoom off to have our ears blasted. Upon arriving it seems that the whole place is a wash with tons of young teenagers being escorted by their mums and dads, so the screaming and squealing are more ear-piercing than the bass speakers on stage. Great fun and very entertaining. Avril was booked to do a shark dive but cancels at the last minute because she is worried about getting a cold and does not want to spoil her singing voice.
All together now – “aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! Poor diddums!!!”

New Listening Pleasure.

As with every month i do my best to keep up with the new album releases that hit the high street shelves. So off i go to CD Warehouse in the Victoria & Albert Waterfront and purchase - Mylo - fabulous house (track 7 is the one that got me jumping) / Queens of the Stone Age - marvelous rock / Hot Hot Heat - more chart friendly rock but still damn good too.

Trying to find “Love” in paradise!!

We should always make time to do something new and this month has been no exception. One of my mates introduces me to an internet dating website called Thunderbolt City. This is my very first time at this ever increasing popular global activity, so it’s with trepidation that I boundly step forward.

And oohhhh my, what incredible fun this new past-time is. There certainly seem to be a large number of single ladies in the Cape Town area and after filling in all my personal details I start to search for a “match”. Within about 3 days I have 10 “fans” who all like what they see in my details - I mean are they all mad or desperate – or just blind drunk?? Hahahahahahah !!!!! So I start to have ever increasing longer and longer email chats with afew that I find equally attracted to.

One lady totally stands out from the crowd – nicknamed London Girl – we have a right laugh writing to each other, being highly witty, sarcastic and damn right daft and after about a week I pluck up the courage to ask her out on a date.

She is 36, tall, from London, been living here 18 months and started her own charity to help disadvantaged children with special educational needs, who have been effected by Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (which is when the mother drinks alcohol all the way thro the pregnancy and therefore seriously damages the baby). This is very brave work indeed I am sure we will all agree.

So we arrange to met up for a coffee and take it from there. After about an hour we suggest it’s about time for a proper drink, so we go to a nearby comfy hotel bar and slowly start sipping some fabulous South African white wine. We can’t stop talking and natter on and on and on for 6 hours, with us getting on like a house on fire.

We say our good-byes and know we will be in contact very soon, although she is off to London for a month very soon.

More on how this develops in next months Update. :-)))

Press Launch for a new Tourist Product.

One Friday evening we are cordially invited to The Gecko bar for the press launch by The Shark Lady, who originally pioneered shark cage diving here in Hermanus in 1992, which has now become the worlds Mecca for all enthusiasts of this incredible activity.

Tonight she is presenting to the local press and important people in the tourism trade her new concept – a totally circular plastic cage. Now you might think that’s not that ground breaking, but as all the other 7 dive operators are still using square metal cages, this is a new idea. One of the unfortunate things with square metal cages are that they are not that shark friendly, as one of the sharks many senses is to detect magnetic fields and obviously metal plays havoc with this sense. Being circular there is no way that a shark will ever injure itself on any part of this new cage. There is also another important aspect for us humans who will venture into this cage – you now have no visible protection from a 6 metre shark that is coming at you like a speeding train, as you are suspended in the water looking thro' clear plastic. This will greatly enhance the thrill of shark diving and I can’t wait to get in it myself.

The following day she has a movie film crew and 4 famous UK entertainers arriving to try out this exciting new piece of kit.

Ground breaking news. 3rd June, 2005. Roving reporter in the area.

Today I was wondered around the town centre, just going into a shopping centre when who should be going the other way – Richard E Grant, Ruby Wax & Colin Jackson – the 4th member of this filming session was not with them……so more on this world exclusive when we have it.

In fact there is more - they are all here to film Shark Bait, a program to be aired in the UK on 4th Sept (the 30th anniversary of Jaws movie). They will all be diving with Shark Ladies new see-thro' cage.

Good News.

Afew weeks ago I got a great email from my mate Cicely, who I first met in Cape Town in 2001. She’s been back in Newcastle, UK for the last year, but is on her way down to Cape Town in early July. So that will be great to catch up with all our gossip.

Building Work.

And on the 13th June I start to have my house extension started. This could be hampered by the rains as it seems to be not the warmest or driest weather down here at the moment, but that won’t stop me cracking the whip.

That’s about your lot for now, so chat soon and for those of you up there - enjoy the summer and festivals in the Northern Hemisphere.

Cheers

Percy “Intrepid Explorer of South Africa”

www.percytours.com

Designer Tours of Hermanus, Cape Town and the Western Cape region.

Hermanus & South Africa partys. Percy Tours Update 8.

20th March – Mid April 2005.

Well things here have been busy as hell, been running around all the local important tourist businesses - hostels, wineries, hotels, adventure shops and restaurants distributing my lovely new flyers and presenting them in individualised Perspex holders that fit very nicely on reception desks. Have had many enquiry calls, with afew turning into business, so fingers crossed that theres more.

Business, starts slow and then goes crazy :-))

Didn’t have that many shark transfers during late March, as it appears that the shark diving was going thro a very slow period (for 2 weeks). As well as Hermanus Backpackers being quite empty too.

Then in early April we had a mad flurry of business, so it appears that tourists turn up at all different times of the year. And things can only get better as the May to August season has by far the best visibility for sharks (up to 25 metres of clear water) and of course the whales will be returning then too (June to Dec) to frolic, mate and give birth in Walker Bay. As well as a number of international wildlife documentary companies are booked with some of the shark operators here. So Percy Tours hopes to be transferring them around for their whole time here.

Late News Flash.

We might have a 5 day Movie Film team to transport about at the end of May. 4 famous actors from the UK and an entourage of 35. Not confirmed yet but that will be marvellous if that it comes off.

Hyped rubbish??!!

One bit of worldwide news has been that a guy from Cumbria in UK (Mark Currie) who went on a shark dive afew weeks ago (we are not too sure with which company in Gansbaai yet) has been selling his story of his dive to the worlds press (very probably a huge sensationalised story), but he claims that when he was in the cage a 6 metre shark attacked the cage by biting into it and destroying one of the floatation buoys, then it came back to take another huge bite out of the same side of the steel cage, (yeah right of course it did mate - NOT!!!) then attempted to jump into the top of the cage and tried to attack him from the open top, missing him by cms.
(Utterly laughable!!!)
The boats captain then (it’s claimed) hit the shark repeatedly on the head with a metal bar. The story and some of the early footage is on film and available at the BBC website, but it (very handily) doesn’t show it jumping on top or the captain hitting it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/4382621.stm

Well as you can imagine the other local shark operators have gone absolutely mad over this story, as not only does this go against all the very strict safety practices but the captain of the boat should never have to hit a shark with a metal bar for starters and to allow the shark to jump onto the cage with someone in it is just madness. A shark would have to leave the side of the boat, circle around and come back again & again for each activity that’s been claimed happened. It’s not one single movement.
This gives the worlds press even more ammo to kick this lucrative tourism attraction in the teeth.

Late News Flash.

We found out 2 days ago that the Head of the official Great White Shark Wildlife Protection agency here in Hermanus has gone to the UK to actually start legal proceedings against Mr. Currie. Uuumm very interesting!!! Be that a warning to all you quick buck earning hopefuls.
More when we have it.

Percy Tours Photo Site.

And how’s this for a corking photo sharing website – Flickr – Please check out Percy Tours enters on this site for a great view of what it’s like to be in the very BEST playground on earth –
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51084760@N00/search/tags:percytours/

Well all this comes to you from a very select bunch of news and internet savvy gents.
So if you ever want to know something about anything??

Well sod asking that useless git Jeeves – cos lets be honest he knows sod all about anything really and he takes 6 years to get to the right answer – come ask your friendly Percy search engine – and by god we will give you exactly the answer you want to know. Need to know how many litres of milk a baby whale drinks per day? No!! Well how about – which lucky creature orgasms non-stop for half an hour? Or which mammal has sex non-stop for 24 hours? Or how does an elephant really die and do elephant grave yards actually exist?? Or which creature actually has 2 penises?? Or which creature has the largest sexual organs compared to its body size?
Ask and we will tell you straight.
Or maybe not, as we are too damn busy doing other much more important things :-))))

More Shark Action.

The local shark diving businesses continue to get even more famous people visiting this lovely part of the world – new arrivals recently have been – Colin Farrell, Christopher Lambert, Sting, IT Tycoon Mark Shuttleworth, Stefi Grafi, the lovely Cameron Diaz and her toy-boy Justin Timberlake. While Brad Pitt on his recent visit started property hunting for a mansion, and we found out today, has actually bought a new “hut” on the beach – so I spose Ms. Jolie will be organising the house maids now, seeing as he has stupidly thrown in the towel with Ms. Aniston. I mean which one would you lads rather have curled up with you at night – and the wrong answer is not both of them!!! :-))))

And the heavens opened.

I know what the UKs weather is like – rain, rain and more rain – well get this – last Friday it started to throw it down – and didn’t stop until Monday morning – this was not your usual drizzle but horizontal rain drops the size of ball-bearing. And good god it was relentless. We received over 2 inches (4cms) in this short space of time. The official average rainfall for the whole month of April is 41mm – the local reservoir increased from 45% full to 70% and many roads were closed due to landslides – I went along one of these roads a day later and you should have seen the debris – 100s of rocks the size of cars and trees up rooted everywhere. The huge Hermanus lagoon was so full that the army had to be called in to remove a 50 metre section of Grotto beach so that the overflowing lake could escape into the sea.

This huge storm knocked out the town’s electrics, the phone and internet systems. So I frantically unplug the entire office just in case we get a lightning strike at PT HQ as we could easily lose our whole network and its valuable equipment. Yeah we do have surge protectors but its better to be safe than sorry I say. Thankfully these storms only hit once every 2 or 3 years.

My garden had 2 lakes suddenly appear and I thought that I would have ducks and geese making a home here. The roof just about held up – but at 6am one morning I had to get afew buckets and cooking pots out to catch some drops.

Very welcome surprise.

My fab mates from the UK send me a parcel for my 40th birthday (which was last Nov). I have no idea what it is (which is always the best type of surprise). And upon opening it find an excellent video camera lense, which connects up to my Sony digital camera.

This beauty is a small cylinder with a long lead that can be strapped to a helmet or mounted to a bike frame, a riders arms, legs or any body part, with the Sony video camera being carried in a rucksack, but that’s not all – this fab camera can go under water to depths of 12 feet too – so shark videos will now get a great shoot in the arm and will never look the same. I intend to get a long steel pole to attach it to for some great new shoots.
Check their website for a look – http://www.viosport.com/

And another (nearly) equally welcome surprise was the delivery of 4 huge bags of Twiglets and 2 big pots or UK Marmite – Yummy!!! – Yeah, we do have Marmite over here but it’s not the same.

Corporate Business.

Well it does appear that our Percy Tours flyers are finally doing the trick as we start to get some genuine enquires during the middle of April.

Afew weekends ago we were very busy with a group of 32 clients in 4 minibuses, (plus another tour company had 2 more minibuses of 8 clients each too). They are all on a corporate event from an Asset Management company in Cape Town.

During the morning we zoom them around to do kayaking and sailing, while in the afternoon we have a “treasure hunt” where each group of 8 were given clues to places to discover around Hermanus – 1st stop - a blind fold taste and smell competition at a restaurant. After completing each task correctly they get their next clue to solve.

This was amazing fun and some damn right dirty tricks were played by all sides – from calling other minibuses to say that there were police speed traps around the corner, to completely blocking the other minibuses in at car parks so that their bus could zoom off quicker. One minibus decided to totally cheat at one location by saying that they had completed the task of viewing various famous landmarks without actually seeing them. All our drivers got right into it too – with some hair rising driving – one nutter overtaking a slow moving Police car at about 80kph in a 40kph zone. Lucky he didn’t get a ticket. I came 3rd.

More business in the pipe line.

This week we get a call from the manager at a local retirement village that only opened at Xmas and are literally 300 metres away. They also have a corporate seminar building that regularly has events held there, with 40 bedrooms decked out in a Holiday Inn style. 2 swimming pools, a snooker room, gym, big restaurant and beauty spa.

So I go off for a meeting with them and after a chat they decide they want us to do 2 major jobs for them – 1st is take their residents on weekly tours – these will involve many different activities, from cooking courses, pottery, painting, bird and wildlife viewing, photograph courses, wine and beer tastings, fishing trips, scenic road trips, river boat cruises, golf courses, craft markets, art festivals, tours of the local abalone hatcheries (huge business as the Far East consume tons of the stuff), tours of flower farms (that’s another huge business here, as that’s what you see in your local supermarkets), hikes in the local mountains and nature parks etc. Thankfully all their residents are very sprightly, with the average age being about 55 to 65. This is a retirement village not a frail care home, so absolutely no pushing wheel chairs around for us – phew!!

The 2nd job is to take their corporate clients on much more adventurous pursuits – and there is literally tons to choice from – shark dives, abseiling, mountain biking, canoeing, paragliding, scuba diving, sailing, kayaking, sandboarding, horse riding, quad biking, 4x4 trails, yachting, sky diving, shooting ranges, microlight flights etc.

So there’s loads to be achieved there.

Business trip to Durban.

Every year for 5 days, the city of Durban holds a large conference & trade fair called Indaba, to promote tourism in SA. Well Percy Tours are right up for some of that, so on 6th May we jet off to promote ourselves. There is rumoured to be a 4 fold increase of foreign buyers from Europe, North America and Oz turning up this year.

We are currently printing up Percy Tours t-shirts to parade around in as well as taking the laptop armed with loads of our details to showcase to prospective clients, DVDs, digital camera and as many flyers and business cards as we can carry.

Should be great to met and network with a myriad of new contacts.

Sightings along our shores.

This month there have been a few dolphin sightings and some Bryde Whales around and behind Dyer Island.

Pods of 20 to 30 Humpback Dolphins and 2 to 10 Bottlenose Dolphins have been sighted, with both species being near the surf zone where they hunt small fish.

Afew Southern Right Whales has also been seen but it will be several months before they return in greater numbers. Recent bird sightings have included – Sub-Antarctic Skuas, Sooty Shearwaters, Giant Petrels, Cape Gannets, Oystercatchers and Swift Terns. The African Penguin (Jackass Penguins as they were called until recently) and Swift Terns have taken to their new man-made artificial nests on Dyer Island, with breeding numbers up from last years survey.

Over the last 5 years scientists have also counted over 1000 different individual Great White Sharks. This fantastic animal was recently classified as an endangered species and has therefore put this animal on a NO hunting/fishing list by humans anywhere in the world.

And today’s Shark Divers saw 10 sharks – which is an amazingly high number.

Plus I am not sure if you are aware that the Western Cape has just been elevated to World Heritage status.

While today I had to invest in a big space heater and an extra duvet to wrap around myself. BBBRRRR!!!!!!! Well Antarctica is the closest land mass after all.

Hope you have enjoyed this edition of Percy Tours Updates – more in a month’s time.

Cheers

Percy “Swimming around in so much rain water that its time to invest in some big wellie boots and an 8 mm wetsuit”

www.percytours.com

Designer Tours of Hermanus, Cape Town and the Western Cape region.

Hermanus & South Africa craziness. Percy Tours Update 7

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8th Feb – 19th March 2005

Hope those of you in Europe have been enjoying the pesky SNOW – been thinking of you all and what an utter nightmare it must be to get from A to B – especially knowing how useless the UK highways agency is at clearing it out of the way on the roads and pavements.

So what has been happening here ???

This month I have mainly been..........working my butt off actually - AAAAAAA!!!

So no more sitting on the beach picking the sand out of my butt – PERCY TOURS is well and truly up and running in a big way, like a greyhound of out the box catching the preverbal hare.

Check us out at – http://www.percytours.com/

Shark Transfers.
After answering an advert in the local newspaper for - "transfers to Great White Shark cage diving urgently needed."

And insisting upon being the 1st to get an interview from 35 applicants, I blow them away and they signed us up on the spot. YYYEEEEHHHAAA!!!!!

So now every morning I wake up at the ungodly hour of 6am to collect and drop off mad humans that want to be breakfast for Great White Sharks. I have also taken tourists on wine tours at the local Hermanus wineries, a tour down to the southern tip of Africa (Cape Agulhas) where we saw Ostrich, Zebra, Springbok, loads of eagles and many sea birds; and afew airport collections and drop-offs. So at bloody last the business has started and some cash is coming in. :-))))

Have had 10,000 colourful flyers printed up and bought some wicked Perspex flyer holders to put onto hotel reception desks, so over the next few weeks we will going around local businesses to sell our executive services.

Music Listening Pleasure.And this month I have mainly been...........listening to (VERY LOUDLY) Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit and anything hard and pounding (well I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t pounding would I ???) so I have been pumping it all thro the minibus cd stereo or thro the 300 watt speakers I now have installed in the house.

And not a word of noise complaint from the neighbours. Haahahahahahaahh – love it…

Been trying my best to catch up with music new releases – and have purchased the new Chemical Brothers album (ok-ish) / Trickys new one (ok-ish too) / Fatboy Slim (very average) / Depeche Modes 3 cds remix album which is utterly excellent – some brilliant tunes / Thievery Corp / Groove Armadas best ofs…/ Eminem / The Hives (which rocks like a bar-steward). And have just got some tickets for Avril Lavignes show in May in the huge Bellville Velodrome in Cape Town. We don’t get too many international acts over here so it will be good to see what this venue is all about. We have standing tickets so a scrum down is bound to engulf us. Mosh pit anyone ??

Now that I have ADSL installed at my house/office – I have been listening to XFM and BBC Radio 1 online so as to keep up with new stuff too. OOHH the beauty of the internet – don’t know how we ever survived without it years ago. Same goes for Mobile phones too. :-))))

Extra Earners!!!
As a little extra earner I have been installing computers at various places – the 1st big customer is Hermanus Backpackers where I have just put a computer into their bar with 3000 songs on it, as all their old cds were so scratched that the music always always skipped (which was very annoying) so those that know the bar will be very relieved to hear that we can now party all night long without skkkkiipping music – and then yesterday I and 2 other gents installed ADSL and another computer for them to offer the services of an internet café in their quite lounge.
As well I am now teaching people here how to use their computers much more efficiently – and have already got 3 customers who I spend afew hours a week with and I would hope that as word spreads I will have quite afew more people to train up.

Trance Party.
In South Africa there is a large following for Trance music and psy-trance dance festivals, so we went to see what it’s all about at an event called Alien Safari. Situated in the most idyllic remote location – a huge mountain range in the distance with little fluffy clouds floating by; the sun beating down at 30 degrees; set on the banks of the Breede river which is extremely shallow and therefore allows all to splash about in the cooling water wearing very little and some revellers not giving a damn and swimming in their birthday suits :-))) – very entertaining viewing; and an enormous Olympic sized swimming pool for those that prefer to not get sand all over them; a large market selling all sorts of food, drinks and all those items you thought you’d never need until you see them i.e. jewellery, clothes, sun hats, tattooists, piercers, tarot readings and much more.

They had a large stage with loads of psychedelic multi-coloured painted huge backdrops, amazing sound system and a dance floor that’s just a lightly sloping big field filled with over 2000 punters wearing very little indeed in the screaming heat. The sun is so hot that there’s absolutely no need at all to erect a marquee. The crew had installed a garden hose that had a watering sprinkler attached that kept the crowd cool, which also made for very entertaining viewing. People trying to catch water in cups that they held over their heads. God people are crazy :-)))

Now as luck (or not) would have it I decided to drive the minibus in as close to the stage and dance floor as possible, this I thought would be very handy to get back to and wasn’t miles away in the large campsite. And so it was very handily positioned about 50 metres away and made convenient for us to keep going backing to, to get cold beers out of our cooler box but when we decided to eventually try to get some sleep, the bus would act like a large bass bin and vibrated as if we were connected directly to the soundsystem. With the music playing non-stop for 24 hours, we didn’t get much sleep so there was really only one thing for it and get back on that dance floor. There’s some mad DJ from Israel there called Skuzi – doesn’t he realise that Skuzi in the UK means rubbish – idiot!! :-)))

School silliness.
My German friend Steffi is currently doing a degree to be a school teacher (at a German Uni) and is here to experience and learn how other countries teach. So one day she asks if I can video film a class room full of 7 year olds doing a task that she has set them to do. Utter chaos :-)))

Cricket Match.
The men from Hermanus Backpackers engage in some utter silliness and organise 2 games of cricket against the high schools "A" team.
What fully grown men trying to trash a bunch of school boys who can’t even shave yet – what a challenge – not :-))))
I go along with my video camera and edit a full dvd of action set to mad music.
Sadly for this big butch of men they get totally trashed TWICE!!! I don’t think they will be doing that again in a hurry as their huge egos have been well massacred.

It’s a long while since I had a soothing massage – so I call up my favourite masseuse and get totally pummelled. RRRRR and relax!!!

Off tonight to a friends Braai, so will be fun – hopefully some of those outrageous huge crayfish will make an appearance on the fire – YUMMY!!!

Well that’s about it for this month of hot news on the bottom of the planet. Keep warm all those in Europe and hope to talk to you soon –

cheers and a bucket load of LOVE to you all. XXX

Percy “Suffering from over work and Ravers knees”

www.percytours.com

Designer Tours of Hermanus, Cape Town and the Western Cape region.

Hermanus & South Africa adventures. Percy Tours Update 6.

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Dec 26th 2004 – 7th Feb 2005.

Firstly, I hope that you all have had a fabulous Christmas & NYE celebrations.
(And I spose now it’s a far off memory, but a happy one all the same……….)

Christmas in South Africa.
Needless to say I had a corker too – there really is nothing quite like 30 degree heat, swimming in a cooling pool and eating huge crayfish on the braai with 25 other fellow xmas revellers at the Backpackers Hostel; which I took long my lap-top with all its music, so a large and long party was enjoyed by all.

Christmas away from UK is such a breath of fresh air – no crowds of moody people pushing you about at the shops/pubs/clubs/restaurants for 2 months; no spending £1000 on a load of useless rubbish; no 3 weeks of continuous hang-overs; no Christmas carols being played everywhere; no naff Christmas TV adverts for 2 months that are so rubbish that you are ashamed for the poor sods that had to film the damn things; no piles of wasted food and no turkey or sprouts. Yyyeeeehhhaaaa!!!!!!

Present to myself !!!
Afew days b4 Christmas Day I had finally found myself some decent wheels and proceeded to obtain a car loan from my bank, only to be told 5 days later that due to the fact that I am not yet a permanent resident of South Africa, then I will not be allowed a car loan. Well why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me that b4 I filled in all the bloody forms and wasted a whole week chasing it up – stupid gits!!! Anyway it all ended happily and I am now the proud owner of a 10 seater VW minibus that’s got all the mod-cons – central locking, alarm, immobiliser, anti hijack alarm, kicking cd/radio stereo, valeted inside and out, alloy wheels and best of all – Air-Con – rrrrrrrrr luxury in this heat.

Boxing Day. More Sandboarding.
On Boxing Day we head off with 9 others to the large sand dunes to spend afew hours Sand Boarding. Then partake in some mad Gorge Jumping into a very deep river of cooling water. There are afew lunatics jumping off the road bridge which is at least 20 metres above the river; head back to the bar at the Hostel to wash all that sand away with afew splendid beers.

Lets Rock.The day after we drive over to the small seaside village of Gansbaai to see a rock festival. Yeah a rock festival!!! We had to go to that just to check out what exactly happens at a South African rock festival. When I say village I mean a village – so only about 1000 people maximum live here full time. There was of course a large beer tent – excellent start, a crowd of about 300 or 400 people, as well as a pretty impressive stage with lights, big sound system and an engineers tower about 50 metres back into the crowd.

The best bit for me (and the rest of the male audience) was that there was also a large jacucci bubble bath on the stage. Well it being a rock festival it was bound to happen.
Yeah you guessed it, there were also 10 very pretty women writhing about in all the bubbles, dancing provocatively in bikinis.
Highly entertaining :-)))

The ladies in the audience had to put up with long haired, tanned, muscular and tattooed sexy rock stars strutting their stuff on stage. Oh shame !!!!! :-)))))

Some enterprising locals had bought along a huge paddling pool which they filled from a handy hose and wallowing in cold and muddy water. That made for a pretty picture too. Every single song was in Afrikaans so we really didn’t know what they were singing about, but who really cares when you have a beer in your hand and scantily clad ladies are gyrating in bubbles in front of you? :-)))

New Years Eve.New Years Eve was a fun packed evening at a local restaurant/ bar called Marumba. Can’t remember much after about 11pm, but can just about recall a Soca band of 20 gents dressed in blue & white suits turning up to parade along the walking street outside and some silly sod letting off 2 distress flares that he held in his hands. What a load of smoke and bright red glow that was.

Well by now we all know the result of England visiting South Africa for a test match of good old cricket, but if you are not that well informed, England just about won the series. I won 100 Rand on that bet.

Here they have 2 New Years Days as public holidays. Yeah 2, weird, but apparently it’s because it was the only day of the year that the slaves/workers had as a holiday. Uuummm one day in ever 365, how generous!!!??? :-))))

The local rock venue, The Gecko, has a really good Cape Town band called The Boulevard Blues Band play once a fortnight, so we go for a jump up and down on the dancefloor to their fine tunes.

Downhill Biking.For 2 Sundays in a row I go off to witness and video, one of the most extreme sports there can be - Downhill Biking. This is not your light weight mountain biking, this is jumping off 5 metre vertical walls of dust, rock, trees and bushes; flying and flipping in the air off crazy rams, while doing stunning aerial twists and turns at VERY HIGH SPEED. The crashes are amazingly spectacular, that’s why they all wear body armour made from light weight but extremely tough plastic. Hand to shoulder; foot to hip; around the rib cage, plus space age helmets, all in multi-colours.

There have been 2 collar bone breaks, one big toe smashed, 2 twisted ankles, one broken knee cap and load of cuts and scraps to take to the hospital that have happened at these 2 meetings and this isn’t even the season yet, this is just practice sessions. This all makes for some great video action and with a sprinkle of Metallica and Slayer thrown into the film soundtrack, makes for some entertaining dvd editing and viewing.

In about 2 weekends time a massive meeting happens about 50 kms away, which lasts a full 5 days and includes every single biking discipline that there is – from marathons, to sprints, circuit, cross country, bmx stunts, slaloms, downhill, rally, road, endurance, etc. It’s all catered for here. That will all be worth videoing for inclusion on a mad DVD.

Road Trip and Safari Game Drive.
Now that I have a fabulous vehicle I think it’s about time I take this little beauty for a road trip, so my German mate Steffi & I take off to Cape Town to collect one of her friends Julia and we drive to the northern towns of Tulbach & Ceres. The girls are going to visit a childerns home that they worked at for 3 months last year to surprise the kids and take a huge suitcase of xmas gifts that Julia has bought all the way from Germany.

While I go on to 2 wildlife safaris in the nearby Karoo, staying in a B&B in the small town of Ceres.

These 2 safari parks are the nearest and the most advertised Game Parks in the Cape Town area and as they are within only 3 hours drive, they are an easy day trip from Cape Town for all tourists. Both are about 3500 hectares each, have been open for about 7 years, as well as both offering a 2 to 3 hour game drive and more. So it will very interesting to see how each operates and how different they are.

Aquila is the 1st one. It’s on land that can only be described as fairly barren, i.e. there are only about 5 trees, the rest of the land is covered in thigh-high shrubs and bush. This obviously makes spotting the animals from the Land Rovers easier, but you do think that it would be nice to have a few lorry sized plants about for the animals to hide amongst, especially to provide shade in the screaming heat of the day.

There was a large watering hole which had 3 hippos in it, (hippos kill more humans than any other wild animal – the insect equivalent is the damn mosquito) as well as spotting many different water birds like storks, Egyptian geese, spoonbills and heron. The antelope species seen were – springbok which apparently breed like rabbits; zebra, 3 giraffe, some blue wildebeest, eland (the largest antelope) and 3 white rhinos (from quite a distance). We also visited an enclosure that had 3 white lions in it that Aquila had bought from the Atlas Mountains region of southern Morocco. Why they did that is a very good question cos these lions looked well out of place – not your usual golden brown colouration or size that you would expect to see on a safari. And next to them were 3 other white lion cubs. They will be separated for another 6 months b4 they are all placed in one huge enclosure. If they were placed them together now then the younger ones would be immediately killed by the adults.
They also say that they have buffalo and leopards but we didn’t see either.

Leopards obviously being extremely difficult to ever spot as they are nocturnal and hide in high mountain ridges and canyons.

The buildings were in lovely classic African design of thatched roofs and orangey walls, with a good pool, bar, rest areas with sofas and a big restaurant.

This 3 hour safari (plus a compulsory supper) cost R625, which is about £60.00.
Worth it?? We will see.

Day 2 Game and Safari Drive.So the next day I zoom off to Inverdoorn Game Park.
Positioned on an old fruit farm, the land is fairly flat but the 1st thing you see are loads and loads of high trees and thick high shrub and bushes – this is more like it. This game park is owned by a lovely French couple.

The main buildings are extremely well decked out with lots of room to spread out & relax under trees and large umbrellas. The overnight chalets are very tastefully equipped – air-con, satellite TV, small kitchens and lovely linen. There’s a secluded swimming pool, an aviary and afew decorative water features. While the food is outstanding – had to be didn’t it as they are French. Yummy!!!

So we jump into the Land Rovers and off we go – 3 more lions in an enclosure the size of a football pitch but at least these are golden brown and have some trees to lie under. These have been saved from an utterly horrid process called Canned Hunting. A barbaric way of breeding them so that someone can have them killed and stuffed as a trophy. So it's very good to see that they have been saved from that horror.

Next to them are 7 cheetahs which they are breeding and will hopefully be release into the park to chase all the small antelope about. That will be very interesting to come back and witness, as “kills” are a rare sight, but at least there will be the potential to witness one taking place one day.

When I go wildlife viewing I want the safari sightings to be as close to a David Attenborough documentary as possible, so to see 14 giraffe all together, marching majestically along was a lovely sight. Herds of zebra, springbok, eland, wildebeest, oryx, duiker (small deer), 2 white rhinos that we were so close to that we could have touched them; a herd of big buffalo with 2 baby calves, kudu (another large antelope), some eagles and goshawks near the water holes.

The dust roads were in a good condition, so the Land Rovers were able to go along at a reasonable pace too.

And the price for this – R425 = £40.

I know which one I will coming back to again with my minibus full of tourists. :-))))

Last Years Questionnaire Winner.
Plus the winner of the competition for filling in my tourism questionnaire late last year, that 120 very kind people completed, is – my Mum……
So a FREE adventure sport like - great white shark cage diving, abseiling off Table Mountain or paragliding off Hermanus mountains is awaiting you when you come to visit. Hope that’s cool with you Mum??

Des-Res.
And to completely round off one of the most amazingly active months of my life –
I am now a land owner in South Africa and moved into my new house on 24th Jan. 2004.
So now none of you have any excuses whatsoever for not coming to stay.
2 double bedrooms, bathroom, a large lounge/diner/kitchen that’s 7 metres by
7 metres and a garden that’s 20 metres by 20 metres. My architect has just finalised the latest plans of how the buildings will look when I start building later this year.

All I need to do now is fill the place with a massive stereo system for all those parties we’ll be having here. The neighbours are going to love me. NOT!!! hahahahahahhaaa!!!! :-))))

Up The Creek Festival. Late Janruary 2005.Once a year there is a large rock festival called “Up the Creek” which is held on a farm in the nearby town of Swellendam. So 10 of us from Hermanus pack up 3 VW minibuses and off we go for 3 days of utter silliness on a large site that holds 5000. The Breede River flows thro the grounds of the festival, with a large beach and is swallow enough so that you are able to wade all the way across the 200 metre wide river to the other side. Most refreshing in the 30 degree heat of the day.

As with every festival I have ever attended everyone is very friendly and good humoured; the food stalls produce some mighty fine cuisine; the bar has freezing cold drinks and the markets stalls are selling aload of stuff that you never knew you ever wanted, but you spend your money there for some weird reason.

The bands playing were all South African, with the majority performing rock (with a good sprinkling of Folk, Blues, Reggae, Ska, Punk and all points between). There were 2 marvellous bands who got us all dancing – one band of 8 musicians throw out some very fine Soca / Caribbean tunes called - Freshly Grounded. While another band blasted us with some furious sounds that were a cross between Rage Against The Machine meets The Clash meets The Beastie Boys meets The Police - a fabulous mixture, called - Bed on Bricks.

There were certainly some facilities at this festival that I have never encountered b4, the most notable being flushing toilets WITH toilet paper and the crowning glory – HOT SHOWERS – while my comfortable nights sleep were on a double blow-up mattress with pillows and duvet in the back of the minibus – rrrrrrr!!!! Luxury.

So it’s all full steam ahead down here folks and that’s about the lot from this part of the planet.

Percy “Safari Ranger” Heywood.

www.percytours.com

Designer Tours of Hermanus, Cape Town and the Western Cape region.